Picture a Coke bottle figure wearing nothing but high heels, a lavender corset and lacy matching G-string, skin flushed, hands placed on hips and ready to take charge of the situation. That’s right, yours truly. Then picture said vixen sauntering over to her unsuspecting stud in her newest sexy get-up while he tirelessly clicks away at his computer. Said vixen taps him on the shoulder. He turns, he smiles, and then- he turns back to the computer. Wait, you must be thinking, Did I miss something?
Then it dawned on me- I realized I needed to learn some techniques from an expert, since my springing only visual imagery upon my mate at the time just wasn’t going to work. So I found Desiree at an online Erotic Services section. Desiree is a certified massage therapist specializing in erotic massage. A few years and many workshop hours later, here are some helpful hints I have picked up, along with my own best practices in erotic massage:
1. Before your partner has arrived, dim the lights and light some candles. Turn on soothing music at a low volume. Put clean cotton sheets onto the massage table or bed (if you don’t have a massage table, just be sure that you can access the bed from all sides). Place your chosen oil near the table- I like the Kama Sutra line of products, especially the Sweet Almond Oil. It’s also nice to have a moist warm towel ready, on a covered dish to stay warm, and a few dry clean-up towels nearby.
2. Have your partner lie on his or her stomach, and begin by rubbing your hands, fingers closed together, in circular motions across the back, beginning at the base of the spine and traveling upward over the shoulders. Spend 10-20 minutes doing this.
3. At this point, you will probably need more oil. With one hand still rubbing in a long, languid motion, reach for more oil with the other hand.
4. In long, fluid strokes, rub your hands down each arm, one at a time, almost as if you’re gently pulling the arm down. Spend 5-10 minutes per arm.
5. Now rub your way back up over the shoulders, down the back and start in on the bottom, rubbing circles all around the cheeks and gently tugging at each, like you’re gathering handfuls of rice. Spend about 7 minutes here.
6. Work your way down each leg in the same way as you would with each arm, but applying more pressure. Place both hands around the circumference of the leg and pull down slowly and gently, but with some pressure. 7-10 minutes per leg.
7. Focus on feet one at a time, using pulsating, stroking motions up and down the soles and tops of feet with your hands. Apply even and firm but gentle pressure as this will stimulate the sacral (lower body) chakra for a man or a woman. 5 minutes each.
8. Have your partner gently push over onto the back, and then proceed to add more oil and do the Full Body Stroke. Start by lovingly rubbing one hand with your thumbs into the palm and fingers, and then in one firm but gentle and slow stroke bring your hands up across the arm, shoulder, cross diagonally over the chest, down the abdomen, and down the leg opposite the arm you began with. This move should happen very slowly, as if you are drinking in your lover’s skin.
9. Work back up slowly on the same path, and then repeat on the other side.
10. Work up slowly again and rub lightly in butterfly-like motions on the inner thighs, eventually moving with careful, loving motions on the outer genitals. Be careful that no inner genitalia is exposed to the massage oil.
Most importantly, remember to pay close attention to your partner’s body signals. If you sense resistance, tensing up or otherwise, try to be gentler and direct your thoughts lovingly toward your partner for added focus. It is also extremely important to maintain fluid motion at all times. Now, go enjoy the benefits that consciously-directed sensual massage can have on circulation, libido and your life!
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